Unbearable improv
"We're going to play a personal favorite game of mine to warm-up, ok?"
"It's called key-lime-pie! To play, one of you pretends to be a key, another, a lime, and the last one a pie, and you do a scene together! Any questions?? Allllright, let's get 3 people on-stage!"
"It's called fuck, marry, kajangle! It's a two person game where one person starts a marriage scene, and you play out the first night of your honeymoon - with extra emphasis on the first time you're both making love! And of course, in this classroom, we respect God - so of course, this is the first night of love-making! Alright? And be sure to ~play, realistically~ - I won't even be mad if the two of you start making love up on stage. Haha. Any questions??"; "Um, yeah - what's the kajangle part mean?"; "Haha you detail-oriented little fuck, you - it actually doesn't mean anything! :P Just improv things. Now, let's get 2 people on-stage! Oh, and for asking the question, you'll be one of the first to go on!"
"It's called AIDS! One person will start by contracting a made-up disease, then walk to another person in the circle and pass it onto them! That person then needs to slightly modify that disease, making it their ~very own~, then hand it off to someone else! Now really, the purpose of this one is to make us all present, grounded, and warm. Hot, even! Haha. Hot and bothered. No I kid. Who wants to go first??"
"It's called whale they, whale-ont they! This is a two person exercise where each of you picks an emotion, then make whale sounds based on that emotion! At the end of the exercise, we as a crowd say whether there's chemistry - they whale - or not - they whale-not! Any questions??"; "Um yeah so should we like play it up and ...try to be romantic?"; "USE YOUR FUCKING PEA BRAIN JIMMY, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK? IT'S LEVEL FUCKING 3 AND IF I COULD DEMOTE YOU BACK THE FUCK DOWN TO LEVEL 1 I WOULD IMMEDIATELY FUCKING DO SO.; "..."; Alllright! Two people up, please!"
"It's called I want to kill Jimmy! In this exercise, we take turns embodying characters in Jimmy's life and giving monologues on how much we hate him! Simple, right? Be sure here to really project - remember, folks, that we're working on ~stage, presence~ tonight! Any questions? Please don't ask any questions, please don't ask any questions.... - ok, great! Let's get Anna on-stage first, as Jimmy's probably adoptive mom, wooo give it up!!"