05/23 notes
- Eyecandy
- Sinnoh-Stalgia
- The Ricky Gervais (Karl Pilkington) Show
- Please Don't Destroy: The Stakeout. "It's not 2015 man!"
- Please Don't Destroy: Chelsea. "ABC, always be kind."
- A Ben Marshall Classic
- Chief Wiggum Is a Legend
- Kevin Nealon's Quick Jabs
- Sloths
- Created by Lorne Michaels
J
- I'm so uncoordinated that I regularly slam into things around the house. Like, whole halves of doors, as if they were not there.
- Once a year, when the NBA playoffs happen, I watch the games, drink beer, eat wings, and pretend I'm a real man. Then, like the little dweeb that I (actually) am, I scurry back to my room, ready to read all the poetry I can.
- I recently talked to my therapist about college, and about how strange it was to move so far from home. I was in a new city, with no friends, and no real sense of who I was. Since I'd been talking at him for such a long time, I decided to ask him how his college experience was. He responds: "I went to college to avoid being drafted for the Vietnam war". He pauses briefly (far too little time for me to process his statement) and continues asking me questions about my pathetic life.
- The problem with my dating life is that I have to like...talk to girls. And I've never been trained to do that. Playing an RTS game—absolutely. Anything to do with the opposite gender? It's as if I instantly drop 50 IQ points. And I don't have enough to start.
- I'm constantly reminded that I'm not built for improv. The other day, a scene partner of mine yelled "Alright, let's rob this bank!"—to which I responded "I don't want to rob this bank!". Instead of explaining myself (and creating a genuinely interesting scene of that), I realized how fucked I was, and continued fucking myself...by yelling "Fuck!". After being the most fucked I could ever be, I slowly brought my body down to the ground, curling up into a ball. Finally, I was safe from the mean "Yes, and"-monster, and all its gift-giving nonsense.
- Since I don't watch TV anymore, when I do, commercials feel...nostalgic. Like the commercial during sporting events feel familiar. Reminds me of...my parents giving each other the cold shoulder after a fight.
- Hard to do online dating when you look like a chinese rice farmer.
- Get a partner that says thank you to Siri.
I
- Play style is very judgemental, and quickly default to "No"—within the context of the world, though. But have come to realize that isn't a detriment—it opens a world of possibilities. If, for example, someone paints the picture of "Let's go rob a bank!", and I think "...No!", there are so many reasons why I wouldn't want to do that. For example, what if I realize I wanna live a normal life? ("You know man, I don't know that this is what I wanna be doing with my life.") That realization and opposition creates humanity, hilarity.
- Wedding. Boxing ring. Optometrist office. Hospital, checking on a patient. Space: hard - maybe off to fight aliens. Pacifist on board. Father figures, and how conflicted they are.